Coal generates half of the electricity in the United States because it’s so cheap to use. Coal is a fossil fuel composed primarily of carbons and hydrocarbons, and, when it burns, it releases carbon dioxide and other emissions in the ominous clouds you see billowing from smoke stacks. 
                             

Coal is the dirtiest of all fossil fuels. Burning coal produces emissions that contribute to global warming, acid rain, and water pollution. So the “Clean Coal” advertising campaign seems about as credible as perfumed shit. If you think coal is in any way clean, take a look at miners anywhere from the U.S. to China.   

                                   

One of the most ambitious and dubious “clean coal” technologies involves carbon capture and storage. One capture technology involves removing CO2 prior to burning and then collecting the gas in secure containers either in the ocean (oceanic storage) or underground (geologic storage). The CO2, however, would have to be stored for decades if not longer until the gas dissipates. 
                               
Oceanic storage entails injecting liquid CO2 into waters 500 to 3,000 meters deep, where it dissolves under pressure. Oceanic storage would likely harm marine habitats due to the risk of greatly increasing the problem of ocean acidification. Geologic storage involves injecting CO2 deep into the earth. No one knows the long-term effects of burying gas deep in geological formations, but it seems obvious that the CO2 would eventually leak from storage and into the atmosphere ultimately.

In honor of the “Clean Coal” propaganda effort, here are a few dubiously-advertised and oxymoronic (or just plain moronic) products brought to you by The Pantaloon:

1.     Fair and Balanced FOX News


2.     Wild, Wonderful West Virginia
(There's nothing wonderful about it)
 

3.     Fat-Free Lard


4.     Fart Cologne


5.     Kosher Porkchops


6.     Hello Kitty Vibrator


7.     Beer For Pregnant Women